Another Letter to Patches

Don't call my landline. It's a fools bet. If you ask me for a different number, I'll give it to you but I might not answer it the first time. You gotta be gentle with me. I need coaxing sometimes.

I'm listening to music that I begged off of friends or stole and none of it is very good. Again, ask me another time and I'll probably tell you. Right now I'm hot and my neck hurts and I've been drunk for four days. Ask Moishe. I chased him out onto the front lawn and threw a glass at him and he woke up his wife and they left in the middle of the night. I think he's feeling sensitive too.

The clutch is finally gone on my truck after nursing it for a year. I think all the snow did it in. I guess I have to fix it now, and I'm not looking forward to it. Those transmissions are heavy and my broken collarbone aches and keeps me awake and any more stress on it is just going to make it worse, you know?

I guess your baby is probably doing pretty good. Don't teach him to speak if you can avoid it. I have two and they are damn loud all the time. They learned to shake hands with each other and it's a real Dad moment for me when they do it. There's been less biting, but more punching. There are valid reasons to not have children, but it got me to finally quit smoking, and I guess that's something.

We'll be in Idaho next week and I'll buy you a beer. Look out for me.