I totally know this guy.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Discussing
This is only funny to me. The little fuckers have been showing up at the races-- Pushing their bikes around like it's Valencia St. and dropping cigarette butts everywhere.
Thank god I'm too fat and hung over to race anymore. Ninkasi just dropped the '09 Oatis Stout and I'm fixing to put on the chill-chasing 15 lbs. Fuck Gore-tex and fleece. I need my waxed cotton jacket, a layer of seal blubber, some black, black beer and a bike with fenders. Call me good to go.
See you come spring.
Thank god I'm too fat and hung over to race anymore. Ninkasi just dropped the '09 Oatis Stout and I'm fixing to put on the chill-chasing 15 lbs. Fuck Gore-tex and fleece. I need my waxed cotton jacket, a layer of seal blubber, some black, black beer and a bike with fenders. Call me good to go.
See you come spring.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
It's All Over Now, Baby Blue
One of my favorite songs, and the Van Morrison/Them version is the best one-- But I found this and thought I'd post it. Brilliant.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Colors and the Kids
Another in our ongoing series of feel good/feel bad songs.
"Yellow, hair. You are a funny bear."
"Yellow, hair. You are a funny bear."
Monday, November 9, 2009
Results
66th out of 213. I "beat" Trebon and Wicks. Too bad I'm so slow, because I got out of the field in the first group of 20 or so and lost a good forty spots.
The course was really, really tough.
BG hit 33rd. Good going, crusher.
The course was really, really tough.
BG hit 33rd. Good going, crusher.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
SSCXWC
This is going to suck. Or be the Best Race Evar. Time will tell.
Again, you're all invited to stay at my house for this. I'll cook up a big pot of vegan chili and buy a bottle of whatever, and we'll be good to go. Because, I know people, and people, they know me. Dig?
Again, you're all invited to stay at my house for this. I'll cook up a big pot of vegan chili and buy a bottle of whatever, and we'll be good to go. Because, I know people, and people, they know me. Dig?
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Heckle Pit
Someone's camera phone movie of sunday's Heckle Pit. Note the human barriers (which moved all over the course), and the stack of caskets (which were re-arranged every lap).
Every lap. Laply?
That's already a word, right?
Every lap. Laply?
That's already a word, right?
Monday, November 2, 2009
Cross
Cross Crusade. Astoria, OR, 2009
I wore the suit again. The terrible suit. It binds and is hot. I drank beer before coffee. I drank beer before food.
I had food. I stopped at the Safeway in Clatskanie and bought two bananas, a Clif bar, some string cheese, and a bottle of Pellegrino. $4.89.
Out on the highway, some fifteen miles further into the fog of the coast range, there was a guy pushing one of those bicycles with the ratty trailer. A lot of hefty bags and tarps and a brown dog wearing a person's wool sweater.
I saw his down coat with the feathers sticking out and the tape on it, and his wet hair hanging down, and I pulled the car over and backed down the hill. The dog barked at me and I gave the guy the plastic bag of food. He looked like he needed it. He didn't say anything, but it was 48 degrees and going right thru to the bone. I hope he ate it and got some sustenance from it.
The Team had been camped at the fairgrounds for two nights already. They looked like mud and rain and oatmeal stout. They were chopping up pumpkins with a double-bit axe and pretending to eat a little, here and there.
Everything was glowing when I arrived, and there was a keg. I put on the suit, knowing it was the wrong thing to do. Such has been my life.
I'll leave the details of the racing to the Hankbuilt blargh, but I can tell you that we are in trouble with everybody.
I had food. I stopped at the Safeway in Clatskanie and bought two bananas, a Clif bar, some string cheese, and a bottle of Pellegrino. $4.89.
Out on the highway, some fifteen miles further into the fog of the coast range, there was a guy pushing one of those bicycles with the ratty trailer. A lot of hefty bags and tarps and a brown dog wearing a person's wool sweater.
I saw his down coat with the feathers sticking out and the tape on it, and his wet hair hanging down, and I pulled the car over and backed down the hill. The dog barked at me and I gave the guy the plastic bag of food. He looked like he needed it. He didn't say anything, but it was 48 degrees and going right thru to the bone. I hope he ate it and got some sustenance from it.
The Team had been camped at the fairgrounds for two nights already. They looked like mud and rain and oatmeal stout. They were chopping up pumpkins with a double-bit axe and pretending to eat a little, here and there.
Everything was glowing when I arrived, and there was a keg. I put on the suit, knowing it was the wrong thing to do. Such has been my life.
I'll leave the details of the racing to the Hankbuilt blargh, but I can tell you that we are in trouble with everybody.
Friday, October 30, 2009
I See A Darkness
This is in response to Berg's posting of the Cash version of this song. Which is good.
The original, though, is stunning.
The original, though, is stunning.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
LTD
I could talk to you about my problems. I have a lot of them. I wouldn't even know where to start.
I'll tell you that for most of the last year, I really felt like I wanted to see the whole goddamn world burned right down to the ground.
Where thoughts like this come from, I couldn't begin to say.
I have it alright. Everything that's happened to me, I've done to myself.
Mostly.
The other things just happened. They happen to everybody. That's why I see so many sad people walking around.
We're all wading through the same shit, brother. All somehow linked together by the same hurts.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I'm alright. Things kind of scraped bottom, but I'm feeling pretty good again.
How are you doing?
I'll tell you that for most of the last year, I really felt like I wanted to see the whole goddamn world burned right down to the ground.
Where thoughts like this come from, I couldn't begin to say.
I have it alright. Everything that's happened to me, I've done to myself.
Mostly.
The other things just happened. They happen to everybody. That's why I see so many sad people walking around.
We're all wading through the same shit, brother. All somehow linked together by the same hurts.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I'm alright. Things kind of scraped bottom, but I'm feeling pretty good again.
How are you doing?
Monday, October 26, 2009
The Line
Two men, turning themselves inside out for 59th place.
A lot can be said of a pleasurable Sunday out at the races. Some beers, some kicks. Families and Wives sitting out the rain in the
tents, managing bored kids. Probably dinner somewhere later.
Something to do around the house. A long shower.
All of this life. This regular guy stuff. But,at this moment, right here, all I cared for in the world was to cross the line before that other man.
We had been at war for two miles, breathing like horses. Insane in the mud and regretting every wrong thing I'd ever done:
Imagined music pounding in my head, and bile in my throat.
And the motherfucker pipped me at the line. He had it. I didn't.
A lot can be said of a pleasurable Sunday out at the races. Some beers, some kicks. Families and Wives sitting out the rain in the
tents, managing bored kids. Probably dinner somewhere later.
Something to do around the house. A long shower.
All of this life. This regular guy stuff. But,at this moment, right here, all I cared for in the world was to cross the line before that other man.
We had been at war for two miles, breathing like horses. Insane in the mud and regretting every wrong thing I'd ever done:
Imagined music pounding in my head, and bile in my throat.
And the motherfucker pipped me at the line. He had it. I didn't.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
This Weekend
I know that I'm always saying that I'm going to post here more. To like, entertain you, and stuff.
Well, Duffman says a lot of things.
Ooooooh, yeeaahhhh.
I'll just re-cap the weekend.
Saturday, it rained. Sheets of it. I went on the N.O.I.S.E. ride. I don't know what that stands for. I do know that it's been going on for some years and is top-secret underground. So underground, in fact, that I had to find out about it on the internet.
This thing was Fun Times. We played Buzkashi in the rain. There weren't any dead goats. I imagine that a couple of the players might have been vegan. On second thought, they mostly looked like they would eat anything. Anyway, the goat thing was a garbage bag full of leaves. Everybody got wet and crashed and yelled. It was so fucking awesome.
Then we poached a park. The one right outside my front door. I was cold and tired, so I watched, drank somebody's beers, and then went home.
I had to get downtown to pick up my wristband for the Scion Garage Fest. The rest of my day was devoted to this. I rolled with my buddy DK. We drank a lot. Took breaks between shows to talk about books and fatherhood, and then dove back in.
Apparently, I showed up at my restaurant just about closing and tried to fight the whole kitchen. They declined.
Below is a picture of The King Khan & BBQ Show. I took it with my camera in order to document the fact that for a good 20 minutes prior, a cute girl with a pointy nose and a black bob was rubbing her boobs on my arm and sort of accidentally touching me in a provocative nature. I liked it.
The next morning there was hungover cyclocross racing.
I am such an amazing super-stud.
(Pic from BG's flickr)
In this picture, you might find my Lads, my Wife, Sean "Handsome" Bob, Sufferin' Tong, Smokey, MaxIsNow, and Cody "Rolls in Horse-shit" the Dog.
I mean, this was some race. It hurt so bad and was perfect. All pony trails and sun and big dramatic clouds. Kids and dogs and beer. So much yelling and smiling. So much love from our tent, to all the other tents, and to all the riders. Our bells to you. Our pain to you.
Thank you strange women shouting "Go! Greenbike GO!" Thank you Dads with daughters on shoulders.
This is a perfect time.
Well, Duffman says a lot of things.
Ooooooh, yeeaahhhh.
I'll just re-cap the weekend.
Saturday, it rained. Sheets of it. I went on the N.O.I.S.E. ride. I don't know what that stands for. I do know that it's been going on for some years and is top-secret underground. So underground, in fact, that I had to find out about it on the internet.
This thing was Fun Times. We played Buzkashi in the rain. There weren't any dead goats. I imagine that a couple of the players might have been vegan. On second thought, they mostly looked like they would eat anything. Anyway, the goat thing was a garbage bag full of leaves. Everybody got wet and crashed and yelled. It was so fucking awesome.
Then we poached a park. The one right outside my front door. I was cold and tired, so I watched, drank somebody's beers, and then went home.
I had to get downtown to pick up my wristband for the Scion Garage Fest. The rest of my day was devoted to this. I rolled with my buddy DK. We drank a lot. Took breaks between shows to talk about books and fatherhood, and then dove back in.
Apparently, I showed up at my restaurant just about closing and tried to fight the whole kitchen. They declined.
Below is a picture of The King Khan & BBQ Show. I took it with my camera in order to document the fact that for a good 20 minutes prior, a cute girl with a pointy nose and a black bob was rubbing her boobs on my arm and sort of accidentally touching me in a provocative nature. I liked it.
The next morning there was hungover cyclocross racing.
I am such an amazing super-stud.
(Pic from BG's flickr)
In this picture, you might find my Lads, my Wife, Sean "Handsome" Bob, Sufferin' Tong, Smokey, MaxIsNow, and Cody "Rolls in Horse-shit" the Dog.
I mean, this was some race. It hurt so bad and was perfect. All pony trails and sun and big dramatic clouds. Kids and dogs and beer. So much yelling and smiling. So much love from our tent, to all the other tents, and to all the riders. Our bells to you. Our pain to you.
Thank you strange women shouting "Go! Greenbike GO!" Thank you Dads with daughters on shoulders.
This is a perfect time.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Cooling Down?
"In fact, Dr. Tanaka said, one study of cyclists concluded that because lactic acid is good, it is better not to cool down after intense exercise. Lactic acid was turned back into glycogen, a muscle fuel, when cyclists simply stopped. When they cooled down, it was wasted, used up to fuel their muscles."
MORE.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
Cross Crusade at Alpenrose Dairy.
Burning lungs. Burning eyes. Snot dripping, muscles cramping.
Hacking, hacking, hacking.
That ain't bike racing. The Super-Crud done got me.
Went out to the Crusade opening with the whole fam-damily. Nobody was feeling it.
We checked out our new team tent (Jerseys on the way, soonish), yalped at our friends, scorned our enemies, and walked around in rubber boots and waxed-cotton jackets until the cloud-cover burned off and sent us scurrying beerwards.
Thems Lads are troopers.
PDXCROSS onnit!
Hacking, hacking, hacking.
That ain't bike racing. The Super-Crud done got me.
Went out to the Crusade opening with the whole fam-damily. Nobody was feeling it.
We checked out our new team tent (Jerseys on the way, soonish), yalped at our friends, scorned our enemies, and walked around in rubber boots and waxed-cotton jackets until the cloud-cover burned off and sent us scurrying beerwards.
Thems Lads are troopers.
PDXCROSS onnit!
Monday, September 28, 2009
PDXCROSS
HERE is PDXcross' coverage of yesterday's race.
Aannnnddd...
Tonkin and Babcock straight handling Barlow's brutal run-up. Bad-ass.
Aannnnddd...
Tonkin and Babcock straight handling Barlow's brutal run-up. Bad-ass.
Battle at Barlow
79 degrees, dusty, and fast. One gnarly run-up in the woods consisting of a sheer face held in place with a bunch of railroad ties. Sort of like a set of giant, busted-up stairs with roots and loose dirt in between.
Team Hankbuilt had a good showing. We all finished. BG got 19th in SS. This is an accomplishment.
Onward!
Also, thanks to BG for the pic, and C and M for the water. Good to see you both, and I'm looking forward to Alpenrose next Sunday.
Team Hankbuilt had a good showing. We all finished. BG got 19th in SS. This is an accomplishment.
Onward!
Also, thanks to BG for the pic, and C and M for the water. Good to see you both, and I'm looking forward to Alpenrose next Sunday.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Tough Practice
The Lads are toughening up pretty well.
Luckily, we have a good training ground at our park, 1/2 a block away.
No shortage of obstacles and mudholes.
Today, we worked on dismounts and being smooth over the barriers.
Run-ups tomorrow.
Attack face.
Up and Over.
And off!
Luckily, we have a good training ground at our park, 1/2 a block away.
No shortage of obstacles and mudholes.
Today, we worked on dismounts and being smooth over the barriers.
Run-ups tomorrow.
Attack face.
Up and Over.
And off!
It's Back
I'm so happy to have pdxcross back in my life.
Last year, I tried to make Horrible Pain Face at every photographer I saw, hoping to see my twisted visage in the following Monday edition.
I don't care about placing. I just want to finish, and have my picture taken.
Last year, I tried to make Horrible Pain Face at every photographer I saw, hoping to see my twisted visage in the following Monday edition.
I don't care about placing. I just want to finish, and have my picture taken.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
ROCK>everything else.
You're all invited to stay at my house for this.
I will probably bust out the white creepers, and walk over the Burnside bridge. You will see me in a tight fitting t-shirt, covered by a tight fitting leather jacket. Or, if the weather be fair, a greasy denim vest.
I will likely be drunk on tequila, and messed-up on whatever else I can find.
I will either have a black eye, or be in the mood to hand one out.
Some of you may recognize this amalgamation of parts as a bartender you once knew, some time ago, in a city not that far away.
I am back.
I will probably bust out the white creepers, and walk over the Burnside bridge. You will see me in a tight fitting t-shirt, covered by a tight fitting leather jacket. Or, if the weather be fair, a greasy denim vest.
I will likely be drunk on tequila, and messed-up on whatever else I can find.
I will either have a black eye, or be in the mood to hand one out.
Some of you may recognize this amalgamation of parts as a bartender you once knew, some time ago, in a city not that far away.
I am back.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Fall Again.
I'm always happy and nostalgic and kind of bummed-out this time of year. Make sense?
I delivered fresh hops to the brewer on Big Blue.
The sun came up on Mt. Tabor.
Some Good Friends have gone away. Au revoir!
Some have beards and lurk in the woods.
The Lads are incredible.
And some things, well, they just make sense.
Look for more from me as CX season kicks into gear, and there's more indoor/beer time.
I hope you're all hanging in there, friends.
I delivered fresh hops to the brewer on Big Blue.
The sun came up on Mt. Tabor.
Some Good Friends have gone away. Au revoir!
Some have beards and lurk in the woods.
The Lads are incredible.
And some things, well, they just make sense.
Look for more from me as CX season kicks into gear, and there's more indoor/beer time.
I hope you're all hanging in there, friends.
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