A Sunday in Heck.

Have you ever been so hungover that it feels like you're floating? I know you have. You can't fool me, drunky.

Kill A Crustecean For Jesus

Live crabs.



Dead crabs.



Garlic, meet crabs.



Spin them crabs!



Into oven, crabby crabs.



Crabs and bubbles. Yum.

safeway parking lot

Williamsburg Will Oldham Horror

Friday rules. I cut out of work at 2:30 and booked home to see my sick little kids. The Lads are all snot, and grumpy as shit. But they're playing quietly together right now, which might be one of the best aspects of having twins.
Besides of course that it's some kind of rad/weird science experiment.

Very few things in this life better than a bottle of barleywine, some sharp cheddar, and a rack of saltines. If Mr Chris was here we'd be all over some high-quality canned fish, I can assure you.
This one's for you, Mr Chris.



You'll notice in the background that the walls of my kitchen have been redone in a smashing builder paper brown and blue tape motif. That's how I'm livin out here, yo.

Happy Birthday, Jesus.

Firstly, I'd like to apologize to all three of my regular readers for taking a week off. I know how much you count on me for my insight...

Since I'm still struggling with the fact that there is no more cyclocross for 9 months, I'm going to get spanked in the Kermesse series in January, and then spend all summer chasing a bunch of skinny kids around the velodrome-- I'm not going to talk about bikes anymore.

I'm not sure what else there is to talk about, but I'll see what I can come up with.

After this video.



One of my sons has decided that perambulating belly-to-the-floor is no longer the preferred means of motation, and has taken a few steps. He is also grabbing his wiener any chance he gets. The other one exists in a state of perpetual hunger and says "uh-oh" alot. I have seen the future, and it is not pretty.

Also, The Weapon has tubulars. They are light and feel great and make a pleasant whooshing hum as they spin.



I'm back on Tecate. The fucking IPA is starting to give me hangovers, and I've been experimenting with stronger stuff. Mad River Brewing Co's John Barleycorn barleywine to be exact. 10.8% of pure, drunky goodness.

Come to think of it, that same brewery used to fuck me up good with their Jamaica Red, which I'd say was the first really hoppy beer I ever tasted maybe 15 years ago. I'ma have to try some of that again, just to see how it holds up to some of the crazy beers I've been having lately. Mellow, I'll bet.

And, I gotta hand it to Redhook. I quit drinking their shitty beer about the time I stopped going to Zeitgeist (1995), but last summer's Sunrye, and this fall's Longhammer got me hooked again. Good shit.

High Life

This has been around, but it stokes the shit out of me every time I see it.

The end result of my kick-ass cross season.
You'll find me at the bottom.
With the other lame's.


Mst B 35+
Pl Num Last Name First Name City Team laps
1 812 Rabinowitz Michael Portland Tireless Velo 5
2 871 Prause David Portland Noggin Velo 5
3 920 Standish Jeff Gresham Therapeutic Associates Inc. Cycling 5
4 856 Crago Jason Portland Lakeside Cycling Team 5
5 929 Tuttle Chris Portland 5
6 817 O'Brien Greg Portland b.i.k.e./Cyclisme 5
7 964 Sanders Robert PSU Cycling 5
8 820 Gerwing Jeffrey Portland b.i.k.e./Cyclisme 5
9 859 Rogers Trig Portland bicycleattorney.com 5
10 864 Wicker Charlie Portland b.i.k.e./Cyclisme 5
11 823 Edes Jeff Camas Team S&M 5
12 977 James Bruce NoMad Sports Club 5
13 969 Blackard Mike 5
14 829 Mikkelson Karl Hood River Mt View Cycles 5
15 816 Cowperthwaite David Hillsboro Team Oregon/River City Bicycles 5
16 7 Werle Dan Remax/Yazoo 5
17 869 Cavalieri Jim Portland 5
18 976 Ripp David Specialized River City Bicycles 5
19 978 Lee Mitch Portland Velo 5
20 911 Lopez Saul Portland Half Fast Velo 5
21 925 Kobrowski Amit Beavertpm Portland Velo 5
22 984 Fairbanks David Cycle Analysis 5
23 979 Hickey Matthew Team Coffeeplant 5
24 903 Johnson Gary Hood River Disco Velo 5
25 959 Swearingen Wes Mt View Cycles 5
26 867 Mautner Paul Portland Team Rose City 5
27 898 Miller David Beaverton Team Rose City 5
28 942 Silvernail Dan 5
29 934 Lamb Ted Portland Tireless Velo 5
30 830 Ricciardi Tom Portland Portland Triathlon Club 5
31 858 Blackburn Paul Hood River Disco Velo 5
32 981 Maroritz Richard 5
33 922 Mann Michael Portland b.i.k.e./Cyclisme 5
34 917 Yoder Mitch Portland Team S&M 5
35 916 Johnson Brian P Lake Oswego Silly Yak Cycling 5
36 985 Cobb Mike 5
37 966 Wasserman Jon Veloce Cyclocross Club 5
38 982 Larson Dan Half Fast Velo 4
DNF 983 Freeman Abraham Warlocks B.C. 4
DNF 885 Dezellem David Hillsboro Beaverton Bicycle Club 4
DNF 878 Nachtrab Eric Portland Veloce/Felt 3
DNF 880 Johnson Ben Portland Portland Velo 3
DNF 980 Carsley Bill 2

At least I DNF'd ahead of Eric Nachtrab, who I know for a fact is fast. I was still "racing" as I passed him walking his broken bike back to the pits.
Little victories, yo.

Since I sold my mountain bike to pay for my cross bike, I'm pretty much SOL for events for awhile. The Vanport Kermesse series should be good for some gut-wrenching, freezing-rain type competition in Jan-Feb, so I guess I'll start training for that. Right after this beer.

Some may seek fortune, some may seek fame. Some go after book learnin', or chase the perfect buzz. Some even date strippers.

All I want is a bicycle that can carry a kid, a keg, and a pumpkin. I think I'd be feeling pretty complete.


Also, building big, crazy staircases is really fucking hard. I'm feeling taxed.
I'm dreaming about rise, and run. Four flights of self-supporting torsion-boxes spanning a huge interior space. All custom, all the time, all by myself.
Good thing I'm such a fantastic carpenter, or I'd really be fuckered.

Cyclocross season is over, and the first MTB races won't be for a bit. How's about a little Kermesse in the wintertime?



Vanport was a town, and then it wasn't.



The largest public housing project in the US, flooded and destroyed one Sunday in 1948. 20,000 left homeless, and 15 killed.

Let's race that bitch.

Snow

Cyclocross US Grand Prix '07 from freebird on Vimeo.

The Vanilla Gorilla

Last night I managed to get enough mud out of my shoes to get them into my pedals. It took about 15 minutes with a screwdriver and some banging on the front porch, but the suckers are usable again.

I couldn't track down my rear blinky, but while I was searching I did find my pilfered CalTrans jacket in smashing flourescent green and orange with complimentary 2" reflective stripes. Coupled with an led flaslight ziptied to my helmet, I'd say that last night I was the height of Portland commuter fashion.

A couple of whacks to clear the mud from my braking apparatus and I was off to check out an artist reception at the new Vanilla Workshop.

I arrived, locked up to a gas meter, took off the idiot shit I was wearing, and cruised inside. A nice man holding a glass of something warm greeted me at the door. That nice man was Sacha White, lord of Portland's frambuilding glitterati. We chatted, and I moved off into the space to check out some bikes and photos. Like everything Mr. White does, perfection was in evidence at every turn. The place is like a wet dream of a bike builder's workshop. High ceilings, lots of light, high-dollar tools and toys strewn about just so.

I would have taken pictures,but I think my camera and my blinky ran off together.

I only stayed for a bit. Just long enough to do a few laps and suck down a beer out front.

I just looked out the window and it's starting to snow. The C's start in 3 minutes. Poor fuckers. Im'a get another cup of coffee and hang out with The Lads.